"For Natalie"

In the midst of finalizing my previous post, I was talking with Eddie about my blog post as I usually do before hitting the "Publish" button for all the world to read.  We were discussing the difference between "having diabetes" and describing a child as "diabetic".  Shortly thereafter he told me that he had just emailed me something that I would appreciate.  I figured it was a joke or funny video as is often the case.  Instead, it was an attachment saved as "For Natalie".  For those who know Eddie, you know he is the strong one in our relationship, and doesn't often let his emotions show. 

He wrote from his heart about a defining moment that occurred this past January.  My take on this moment still sits in my blog "draft" folder where it will remain.  Eddie did a far better job articulating exactly what this moment meant to us.  Now, it did take some prodding to get Eddie to allow me to post this so if you enjoy reading his perspective, leave a comment and let him know!  So without further ado, here is Eddie's debut post on our blog (he says first and last, but I'm hoping not):


"For Natalie:

For over a year now, I’ve watched Nicole enthusiastically post to her blog; sometimes it’s the joy of sharing something funny or a bit of good news, but mostly it’s the rawness of what’s on her heart as it relates to Natalie and her continual care.  I have sometimes wondered, "If I had a blog, what would I blog about?"  Normally that’s about as far as I take these thoughts, as I easily get distracted by something else which would not take nearly the same amount of time or effort of drafting a blog-post.  But something happened a couple weeks ago which I cannot get off my mind, so I feel it’s best to write down my thoughts – whether I share this with Nicole for her blog, it is just something I share with Natalie for later in life, or something I will just keep to myself – I wanted to capture what I am thinking.

A couple Sunday afternoons ago, we attended the 2011 JDRF Walk for a Cure Awards Banquet.  I can’t say I was overly excited about attending when there were so many other things I could be doing on a Sunday afternoon, but once we arrived it was good to see both our kids were at ease (racing to find an empty table and then arguing about where everyone was sitting at the table) and it’s always nice to see the familiar faces from JDRF, who easily relate with what our entire family has endured for more than 18 months now.  During the meal, and in anticipation of the awards being presented, one of the Emcee’s (and previous Walk Chair) was about to review some quick highlight’s of Type 1 Diabetes (now referred to as "T1D" to get people to quit thinking that Type 1 and Type 2 are similar) and recognize those sponsors/people/teams involved with the this year’s walk.  I’ve sat through enough of these types of ceremonies over time that I only need to pay close enough attention to know when I’m supposed to stand up and be recognized.  But before the Emcee started presenting awards, he asked all of the kids who have T1D to stand up to be acknowledged.  When he asked this of the children, Natalie was coloring, pestering her brother (or being pestered), or otherwise being occupied and not paying attention, or so I thought…

As soon as he said those words "All the kids who have Type 1 Diabetes, please stand up.", Natalie stood up without hesitation, reservation, or any prompting from mom or dad.  In fact she did it without even acknowledging or giving us the look which asks "Should I stand up?"  Nicole and I looked at one another in disbelief…for someone who claims she is ‘shy’, we couldn’t believe Natalie did this without our encouragement or having one of us stand up with her.  As Natalie stood tall at our table and looked at the Emcee, I had tears well-up in my eyes; not because I was sad, but because there has not been a moment where I was more proud of my daughter.  My pride does not come from the reality that she has T1D, nor do I feel she is proud to have T1D, but I am proud of the fact that she is not ashamed of having T1D.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that Natalie is NOT a Type 1 diabetic, rather she is a child who HAS T1D.   While some feel there is no difference between BEING a diabetic and HAVING T1D, just the subtle change in wording can have a huge impact.  I know Natalie doesn’t have to think of herself as a ‘diabetic’, (which as we’ve found in the last 18 months has so many negative connotations and we have heard such ignorant statements like "…quit feeding your diabetic daughter sugar…"), but she is free to live her life as someone who just has to do a little bit extra to manage her T1D.  I’m sure Natalie will have her doubts from time-to-time, but I’m proud that at such a young age, she is not afraid to stand up and admit she has T1D, but more importantly she IS not ashamed of the way God has made her.  Natalie is only 6 years old, but she gets what so many people fail to recognize --- she has T1D, but T1D will NEVER define her."